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Erica: Satin couches are made to be stained

You know what I mean.

Carina & Adriana Malkova: Match Set Point

Carina and Adriana in a set titled “Game”. We are all winners here.

Ashley Brooks: Blonde Oreo

Ashley Brooks is the cream filling inside a delicious black something or other… I got nothin’.

Raven Riley: Fedoras, titties, and basements go together like you’d expect them to

Apparently Raven Riley is in a basement investigating a mystery like Scooby Doo investigates mysteries – somewhat clueless and naked. Her baffling technique revolves around stripping naked and lighting a candle, quite possibly as a honeypot to lure the dastardly villains into revealing themselves. I don’t know what she’s expecting to find in this very empty basement, but I’m sure she’ll foil old man Petersen’s nefarious plans, and leave him shaking his fists screaming “I would have have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kid wearing only a fedora!”

Monika: Sans swimsuit, sumptuous sweety shows sexy stuff

Monika poses by, what appears to be, the shallowest pool in the world.

Olga K & Maiya A: Don’t fish with me, cause you’re fishin’ with fire

In a set titled “Prometeus”, Olga and Maiya screw around some fishing nets. I don’t know what fishing and Prometheus, the giver of fire to mankind, have to do with each other, really, but I guess if I really wanted to make an argument, it would be that fire is representative of what the Greeks called “technos” – art. Not art in the bare naked lady sense (though true in this case) but art as in the craft – building things and and shit like that. Fishing is, I suppose, a type of technology, and so the set title is a melding of the modern and old Greek meaning of the word “art.” However, what the set title really brings to mind for me is poor Prometheus chained up to a mountainside having his guts eaten for eternity, which, quite honestly, doesn’t really do much to turn me on. If that sort of thing does turn you on, though, go ahead and email me and I’ll draw in some vultures eating Olga’s and Maiya’s livers for a very reasonable price.

Crystal Klein & Aria Giovanni: Showering together can’t make these drrrty girls clean

Why, oh, why can’t the world forget the “shower scene” from Psycho and focus more on scenes like this? Is the world such a sick, sick place that it puts blood before boobies? I just don’t understand.

Hannah Hilton: Like the other Hiltons, she is being totally hospitable (but with more boobages)

Maybe I just haven’t given enough thought about the Hilton name, but it’s actually pretty appropriate for girls like Paris and Hannah here. I can’t say that I’ve ever stayed at a Hilton hotel so my opinions about the chain are uninformed, but the rent-a-room/hospitality business seems analogous with nude models and cum-dumpsters. For the right price you can have an attractive, comfortable place to put your “things” for a while, but you never really know what stains the nooks and crannies of the rented space. I’m not saying that you can just go out and leave your luggage inside of Paris or Hannah Hilton on your whim, as it’s a pretty loose analogy at best, but I am saying that having a name associated with rentals is like having a sign on your ass that reads “leave your junk here”.

Click here for video clips of Hannah Hilton

Ariel Rebel: Cat Toys Are For Pussies, Silly Rabbit

Oh, Ariel Rebel, I thought you were smarter than this. I’m sure you’re aware that you’re playing with a cat toy whilst you stand around with your junk visible to the world. Why then are you just holding it up to your tits? You should be, by all means, letting your, as the French say, chat play with your fuzzy wuzzy thing that you’re holding. I don’t know if I can believe in you anymore…

Evi: Oily Evi On Hardwood Makes Wood Hard

Oil and wood together makes me a little nervous. Being the type that worries about everything, whenever I see oil touching flammable items I can’t help but think “fire hazard”. This set sort of proves me wrong, because Evi is teh oily hawt and she doesn’t seem to be the causing the floor to burn up at all. Rest assured, if you click on the link, you will not see female flesh being incinerated. For those of you who enjoy that sort of thing: tough titty tatas!