Titty... hehe.. it says titty right above me...

Sapphic Christmas

Season of giving and receiving yadda, yadda, yadda…

Eufrat: Charming, cheerful Czech chances choad in chalupa, chowder on chest

Eufrat, frequent model for sites like MC-Nudes and Errotica-Archives, in a hardcore scene.

Video clips are here.

Mia Moore & Bulle: Unfortunate happenstance of the collision and subsequent fusion of monikers

Mia Moore and Bulle are two cute French girls who get get friendly with the genitals of two unnamed men. By all means this should be a completely joyous occasion, after all, this is the place in France where the naked ladies “dance”, and we’ve found the hole in the wall where we can see. It’s literally a childhood myth come to life. However, when we go to the hosted gallery, we find the sub-directory titled in an almost Joycean play on words: “bullemia”. I’m sure that in France, it’s just a harmless fusion of “Bulle” and “Mia”, but in English what we end up with is a horrific misspelling of “bulimia”. I hope that I’m not alone in finding eating disorders a little bit of a turn-off, especially one that involves vomiting (though, I’m sure that some of you might get turned on by such things). In the tradition of this bastard language of ours, I feel that we should take this unfortunate circumstantial word, turn it around for the better, and create a new definition for this term given to us by the French. Although there is already a definition of the term “bullemia” on urbandictionary.com, some jackhole just didn’t know how to spell “bulimia” correctly, so I’ve taken the opportunity to submit the following to them:

Bullemia

bullemia |boŏlˈm ēə|
noun
insatiable libido of two female humans when in close proximity to each other while nude as a totally sexy condition • an emotional disorder involving the need for sex and an obsessive desire to perform sexual acts on men and women, in which bouts of extreme girl on girl cunnilingus is followed by the fellation of and fornication with multiple unnamed men. Also called group-suck-and-fuck syndrome . • a sexual disorder in which a large quantity of semen is consumed or worn by two females in a short period of time, often followed by feelings of guilt or shame. Also called binge-fucking syndrome.

This term was coined in October of 2006, when a French porn website inadvertently titled a set featuring Mia Moore and Bulle, two French porn stars, “bullemia”. To avoid confusion of this term with the English “bulimia”, “bullemia” came to be defined as a near synonym with “nymphomaniac”, except that it is only applicable when there are two females (preferably French) performing sexual acts in tandem.

“I hear them two skanky hoes with their junk all out there got a case of bullemia, and need some dick bad.”

Some more pictures of Bulle and Mia Moore, this time touching genitals with their male friends.

Shyla: Perverted pool party parlays to penis pounding

A friend of mine’s father had a bunch of theoretical drink recipes. Among these was the “Million Dollar Martini”, which was, should he ever win the lottery, 19,000 gallons of gin and 1,000 gallons of vermouth to be put into a swimming pool, and dived into with as much gusto as one would dive into a pool full of gin. In theory it sounds sort of awesome, kind of like Scrooge McDuck, only with gin instead of gold coins. Honestly, though, diving into either one just seems just too damn painful for different reasons. Have you ever had gin in your peehole? I can tell you from experience it’s not as good as it may sound. The pool featured in this set isn’t filled with gin, but a bunch of girls who appear to have a few gallons of hootch in them each. Shyla, in particular, goes for a dip, and ends up getting a dipping – of cock. Which is to say she has sex. And by that I mean she gets fucked. And by fucked, I mean that a penis goes in and out of Shyla’s vagina – repeatedly.

Kimber: Fucking for the camera might be exemplary erotica, but it’s not exactly exotica

This is Kimber’s first time fucking in front of a camera, apparently, and she has gone all out and dressed in her bestest, awesomest outfit. She put on her black thong, red plastic micro-mini, and her favorite black tank top with a glittery gold “exotica” emblazoned on it. Yes, siree, you can only be fucked on camera for the first time once, and she wanted to look her best. The only problem: she has a t-shirt that uses “that word,” but I don’t think she knows what it means. “Exotica” sounds sexy, the way it plays off of the words “erotica” and “exotic”, with the “r” being transposed with “x”. Really, though, it is and it isn’t. Exotica was the name of 1957 Martin Denny album featuring pseudo-tropical lounge music, and popularized the term. While 1950’s lounge music is kind of retro cool and sexy in that sense, it’s not something that screams “I’m a hot piece of ass getting fucked harcore in front of the camera for the first time.” The dictionary definition is “Things that are curiously unusual or excitingly strange; such gustatory exotica as killer bee honey or fresh catnip sauce.” Blue-eyed, blonde headed Kimber sort of fails in this respect; she’s cute, but it’s not exactly like she has a second vagina between her tits. It’s her first time, though, I’ll give her a break. I do expect that in the future she do some awesome, stupid shit like getting fucked while wearing a tiki mask while covered in fresh catnip sauce while a group polynesian head-hunters dance around her playing Stairway to Heaven on ukuleles.

Here are a couple of videos of Kimber getting ready to be cock-pierced

Simona: So close, so far from being a Hostess Ho-Ho

I’ve always had a fondness for Hostess products. Ganted, they’re no fucking tiramasu with shaved chocolate, but for a vending machine snack cake they’re the bee’s knees. I think they’re a great looking cake (for something that lasts a bajillion years), and it’s always good fun to lick the cream out. Like Hostess snack cakes, Simona (though she won’t last a bajillion years) looks great, but I guess that’s where the similarities end, because I wouldn’t lick that cream out of her snatch at the end of the shoot for a bajillion dollars.

For those of you that just want to see her free movies, click here.

Sonja: In France they call them a Royale…

Sonja is what the French call a garage a bite (forgive me if I spelled that wrong), which is to say “a cock parking lot/garage.” There is something very satisfying about the imagery of a cock-garage though. It’s a little more pleasant than “cum-dumpster,” you have to admit. It’s very modern, and sounds very efficient. You pull up, give your money, park for a while, and then you leave; no fuss, no muss and there’s no sticky goo involved at all. Sure, it may sound a bit mechanical and there might be an oil stain or two and some leaking coolant, but I’d take that over a “cum-dumpster” any day. Anway, Sonja is a cute French girl, and she looks great with a dick in her mouth.

Kelly, a proper pirate, blows the man down

If you’re slow like me, you might have wondered why the slang for fellatio is “blowjob” when “fellatio” comes from the Latin root fellare, “to suck.” Well, I did a bit of research one day, and found that the term is actually from the Victorian era, and really has nothing to do with sucking cock – only it has everything to do with sucking cock. The “blow” in blowjob is in reference to the man serving up a bowl of cock-chowder, i.e. “blowing” one’s wad. I’m not really sure why, when the man shoots his salami sauce in pretty much every sexual act, that “blowjob” refers specifically to a brushing one’s teeth with cock, though. Anyway, Kelly gives her throat a good scrubbing with some dude’s cock and gets some free facial lotion in the process.

Annie, get your warm gun which is happiness

Annie from cumgirls.com gets happiness – all over her face.

More pictures here and videos here.

Carry: Slutty McSlut takes another nut

Some pics from intheVIP.com.

More from the set here and videos here.