Showing our love for titties since August 5, 2006.

Heather Vandeven: Making your bathroom sexier than it’s ever been

Is there anything sexier than girls wanting to get down and dirty in the oddest of places, including the bathroom? I’ll tell you what, proper bathroom sanitation is totally sexier and totally underrated. I’m pretty sure that unless you’ve been living in 1994 for the last twelve years, you’ve read various studies on how, when you flush the toilet, fecal matter is ejected into the air and covers everything like a fine morning mist. You also might have read studies showing that cleaning does not necessarily kill germs, and that single-men’s abodes are often less contaminated because they don’t clean as often and stir up germs. Well, if “cleaning” ironically makes things dirtier because you’re stirring up all the filth, how can we properly sanitize our bathrooms and make them thrice as sexy as before? UV lights are the ultimate in bathroom sexiness. With these hot-ass looking pieces of equipment, you can kill that fecal fog in no time quick. Not only do they come in a range of sexy industrial-style fixtures, but fucking in the bathroom without the fear of a mist of shit makes it all that much better. I bet that they can even eradicate up to 5% of the filth found in Paris Hilton’s vagina (getting rid of even 10% is like asking god to give you a 24″ penis). Anyway, I have it on good word that the lighting used for this shoot with Heather Vandeven was industrial strength UV lighting, so rest assured, her hawt-ass trash is not covered in a fine layer of crap, and there is nothing sexier than the knowledge that a hot naked chick is not covered in shit. (Unless you’re into that sort of thing.)